{"id":696,"date":"2024-05-17T13:46:57","date_gmt":"2024-05-17T13:46:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tustiaica.ro\/?p=696"},"modified":"2025-09-27T07:25:18","modified_gmt":"2025-09-27T07:25:18","slug":"un-rege-vroia-sa-si-angajeze-bodyguard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=696","title":{"rendered":"Un rege vroia s\u0103-\u015fi angajeze bodyguard…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Un rege vroia s\u0103-\u015fi angajeze bodyguard. La prob\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n doar trei participan\u0163i, un japonez, un chinez \u015fi un evreu. Proba consta \u00een omor\u00e2rea unei albine cu sabia.
Japonezul scoate sabia, deschide cutiu\u0163a \u015fi d\u0103 drumul la albin\u0103, d\u0103 o dat\u0103 cu sabia \u015fi albina cade \u00een dou\u0103 buc\u0103\u0163i.
Chinezul scoate sabia, deschide cutiu\u0163a \u015fi d\u0103 drumul la albin\u0103, d\u0103 de dou\u0103 ori cu sabia \u015fi albina cade \u00een trei buc\u0103\u0163i.
Evreul scoate \u015fi el sabia, deschide cutiu\u0163a \u015fi d\u0103 drumul la albin\u0103, d\u0103 de trei-patru ori cu sabia \u015fi albina \u00ee\u015fi continu\u0103 zborul.
Regele \u00eel \u00eentreab\u0103 curios pe evreu:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Cum de nu a murit albina? Eu \u015ftiam c\u0103 tu e\u015fti cel mai bun\u2026Evreul \u00eei r\u0103spunde:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Maiestate, de la circumcizie nu se moare!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bul\u0103 vine la \u015fcoal\u0103 cu un cucui mare \u00een frunte. Profesoara \u00eel \u00eentreab\u0103:
– Bul\u0103, cum ai reu\u015fit?
– P\u0103i… o albin\u0103.
– De ce nu ai alungat-o cu m\u00e2na?
– Nu am apucat. Tata a omor\u00e2t-o cu lopata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– M\u0103i Gheorghe, tu ce cadou vrei de Cr\u0103ciun?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Ap\u0103i, nimic tu Rozi! Numa s\u0103 m\u0103 iube\u0219ti, s\u0103-mi fii credincioas\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 ai grij\u0103 de mine, tu Rozi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– No, prea t\u00e2rziu, \u021bi-am luat deja ciorapi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mutu ii spune lui Surdu ca Chiorul a vazut un Schiop alergand dupa un Chel sa il traga de par..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O furnica fuge degraba.
Deodata, leul o vede, o opreste si o intreaba:
– Ce ai furnico de fugi asa repede?
– Pai, a facut elefantul accident si ma duc sa donez sange!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Iubi, chiar sunt grasa?
– Nu iubirea mea! esti supla ca o gazela … sau cum naiba s-o numi animalul ala cu trompa…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Se \u00eent\u00e2lnesc dou\u0103 prietene:
– Fat\u0103, ce te-ai \u00eengr\u0103\u015fat!
– S\u0103 m\u0103 fi v\u0103zut acum 2 luni, eram \u015fi mai gras\u0103!… Ar\u0103tam a\u015fa, ca tine!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Vai drag\u0103 dar ce mult ai sl\u0103bit! Cum ai f\u0103cut asta?
– Am \u021binut un regim chinezesc.
– Adic\u0103? Ai m\u00e2ncat numai orez?
– Nu drag\u0103 am m\u00e2ncat sup\u0103 de pui … cu be\u021bi\u0219oare.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Un rege vroia s\u0103-\u015fi angajeze bodyguard. La prob\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n doar trei participan\u0163i, un japonez, un chinez \u015fi un evreu. Proba consta \u00een omor\u00e2rea unei albine cu sabia.Japonezul scoate sabia, deschide cutiu\u0163a \u015fi d\u0103 drumul la albin\u0103, d\u0103 o dat\u0103 cu sabia \u015fi albina cade \u00een dou\u0103 buc\u0103\u0163i.Chinezul scoate sabia, deschide cutiu\u0163a \u015fi d\u0103 drumul la … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5763,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=696"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5766,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696\/revisions\/5766"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}