{"id":592,"date":"2024-05-12T11:51:19","date_gmt":"2024-05-12T11:51:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tustiaica.ro\/?p=592"},"modified":"2024-05-12T11:51:19","modified_gmt":"2024-05-12T11:51:19","slug":"bancuri-cu-nebuni","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=592","title":{"rendered":"Bancuri cu nebuni"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Usa cabinetului psihiatric se deschide si intra un barbat in patru labe, cu un cablu in gura.<br>Psihiatrul: \u2013 Vaaai! Dar cine a venit la noi? O pisicuta?!<br>Barbatul continua sa se tarasca in patru labe spre coltul cabinetului.<br>Doctorul il urmareste: \u2013 Vaaaai! Un catelus?!<br>Barbatul se deplaseaza in liniste pe langa perete pana inspre celalalt colt.<br>Doctorul insista: \u2013 Ah, cum de nu mi-am dat seama?? Un magarus?!<br>Barbatul scoate tacticos cablul din gura si spune: \u2013 Cu tot respectu\u2019, dom\u2019 doctor, ma lasati sa va trag cablul pentru net?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pacientul: \u2013 Domnule doctor, ma simt ca un motan cu capul mare!<br>Psihiatrul: \u2013 De cand ati inceput sa simtiti asta?<br>Pacientul: \u2013 De cand eram un motanel mai mic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Psihiatrul: \u2013 Povesteste-mi totul de la inceput, in ordine cronologica!<br>Pacientul: \u2013 Pai la inceput am creat Cerul si Pamantul. Si dupa aceea am inceput sa am probleme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un ins intra in cabinetul unui dentist: \u2013 Doctore, cred ca sunt o molie!!!<br>Dentistul: Cred ca ar trebui sa mergi alaturi, la cabinetul psihiatrului.<br>Pacientul: Da, dar aici era lumina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Doi pacienti, intr-o camera a unui sanatoriu, primesc vizita unui psihiatru nou. Un pacient pretindea ca taie lemne intr-o padure, in timp ce celalalt statea agatat de tavan cu capul in jos.<br>Psihiatrul il intreaba pe \u201etaietorul de lemne\u201d: \u2013 Ce faci?<br>Pacientul: \u2013 Ce ti se pare ca fac?? Tai niste lemne.<br>Psihiatrul: \u2013 Dar colegul tau, agatat de tavan?<br>Pacientul: \u2013 Nu-l baga in seama, e nebun! Crede ca este bec.<br>Psihiatrul: \u2013 N-ar fi mai bine sa-l ajuti sa se dea jos?<br>Pacientul: \u2013 Esti nebun?!! Si apoi ce fac?! Tai lemnele pe intuneric????<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In sala de asteptare a unui cabinet psihiatric asteapta mai multi pacienti.<br>Pacientul 1 (ingrijorat): \u2013 De ce esti aici?<br>Pacientul 2 (emfatic): \u2013 Sunt Napoleon si doctorul a insistat sa ma cunoasca.<br>Pacientul 1 (ingrijorat): \u2013 De unde stii ca esti Napoleon?<br>Pacientul 2 (infatuat): \u2013 Mi-a spus Dumnezeu!<br>Pacientul 3 (revoltat): \u2013 Nu ti-am spus nciodata asa ceva!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pacientul, la medicul de familie: \u2013 Domnule doctor, de la o vreme vad zilnic multi crocodili roz!<br>Medicul: \u2013 Ati vazut si un psihiatru?<br>Pacientul: \u2013 Nu, doar crocodili roz!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dialog intr-un cabinet de psihiatrie:<br>Psihiatrul: Grozav, tratamentul a dat roade! Ati facut un progres urias!<br>Pacientul: Asta numiti dvs. progres?? Acum 6 luni eram Napoleon, iar acum sunt un nimeni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>La un sanatoriu, pacientii isi faceau plimbarea de dupa micul dejun. Un ins tragea dupa el o sfoara.<br>Psihiatrul: \u2013 De ce tragi sfoara aia dupa tine?<br>Pacientul: \u2013 Pai, daca o imping, se indoaie!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In cabinetul unui psihiatru, un pacient alunga niste muste imaginare.<br>Psihiatrul: \u2013 De ce dati asa din maini?<br>Pacientul: \u2013 Alung mustele astea!<br>Psihiatrul: \u2013 Va inteleg, dar nu le mai dati spre mine!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un medic psihiatru, conduce pe holurile unui ospiciu un grup de studenti practicanti:<br>\u2013 Pe partea dreapta se afla un barbat care si-a pierdut mintile, deoarece femeia pe care o iubea nu a vrut sa se casatoreasca cu el si s-a maritat cu un altul. Pe partea stanga il vom vizita apoi pe cel cu care s-a casatorit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\tatOptions = {\n\t\t'key' : 'e7e5cdb865d410301cc22847061daa17',\n\t\t'format' : 'iframe',\n\t\t'height' : 250,\n\t\t'width' : 300,\n\t\t'params' : {}\n\t};\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Usa cabinetului psihiatric se deschide si intra un barbat in patru labe, cu un cablu in gura.Psihiatrul: \u2013 Vaaai! Dar cine a venit la noi? O pisicuta?!Barbatul continua sa se tarasca in patru labe spre coltul cabinetului.Doctorul il urmareste: \u2013 Vaaaai! Un catelus?!Barbatul se deplaseaza in liniste pe langa perete pana inspre celalalt colt.Doctorul insista: &#8230; <a title=\"Bancuri cu nebuni\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=592\" aria-label=\"Read more about Bancuri cu nebuni\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":593,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=592"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/593"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}