{"id":581,"date":"2024-05-11T12:04:10","date_gmt":"2024-05-11T12:04:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tustiaica.ro\/?p=581"},"modified":"2024-05-11T12:04:10","modified_gmt":"2024-05-11T12:04:10","slug":"cele-mai-bune-bancuri-mioritice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=581","title":{"rendered":"Cele mai bune bancuri mioritice"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Bancuri cu ardeleni Doi ardeleni se suie \u00eentr-un tren ca s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 acas\u0103. Dup\u0103 vreo or\u0103 de mers, parc\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103 b\u0103nuiasc\u0103 c\u0103 au gre\u0219it trenul. C\u00e2nd vine controlorul, unul din ei \u00ee\u0219i face curaj \u0219i-l \u00eentreab\u0103: \u2013 Domnule, nu te sup\u0103ra, trenul \u0103sta m\u0103 duce la Cluj? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> Nu. Dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva momente de t\u0103cere, al doilea ardelean \u00eentreab\u0103: \u2013 Dar pe mine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><script async=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.geozo.com\/9f11l7\/921livm0py308qh876vqu\/678\/ykp8ha.go\"><\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Nevasta ardeleanului bag\u0103 divor\u021b. La judec\u0103tor: \u2013 Domnule, de zece ani suntem c\u0103s\u0103tori\u021bi \u0219i nu am f\u0103cut \u00eenc\u0103 dragoste! Judec\u0103torul c\u0103tre ardelean: \u2013 Tu ori nu vrei, ori nu po\u021bi, ori nu \u0219tii\u2026 \u2013 De putut pot, de vrut vreau \u0219i de \u0219tiut \u0219tiu\u2026 Dar nu \u00een\u021beleg ce at\u00e2ta grab\u0103!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Doi ardeleni stau pe marginea unei str\u0103zi: -M\u0103 crezi c\u0103 pot trece strada asta \u00een 10 minute? -Dar ce, m\u0103, e\u0219ti fulger??<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-gz-block=\"d1e77a9c-30e6-42e6-82be-686fa9d35810\"><\/div><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Turistul \u00eentr-un sat din Ardeal; \u2013 Auzi bade, \u00een satul asta, unde fierbe\u021bi voi palinc\u0103? \u2013 Dap\u0103i, domnule drag\u0103, vezi dumneata biserica aia? \u2013 Da. \u2013 No, numa acolo nu!<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ion cose\u015fte \u00eentr-o vale, apare Gheorghe \u00een v\u00e2rful dealului \u015fi \u00eei strig\u0103: \u2013 Ioane, o murit soacr\u0103-ta! Ion cose\u015fte \u00een continuare impertubabil. Gheorghe coboar\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 jum\u0103tatea dealului \u015fi strig\u0103 din nou: \u2013 Ioane, o murit scoacr\u0103-ta! Ion nu zice nimic, continu\u0103 s\u0103 coseasc\u0103. Gheorghe vine l\u00e2ng\u0103 el. \u2013 M\u0103, Ioane, tu nu mai auzi? O murit soacr\u0103-ta! \u2013 Ba aud, m\u0103, Gheorghe! Dar \u00eent\u00e2i munca \u015fi apoi distrac\u0163ia!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-gz-block=\"d1e77a9c-30e6-42e6-82be-686fa9d35810\"><\/div><br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bancuri cu moldoveni \u0218ti\u021bi cum zic moldovenii la \u201eR\u0103zboiul Stelelor\u201d? \u2013 Galshiava pi sher! De ce \u021bin moldovenii t\u00e2rn\u0103copul l\u00e2ng\u0103 televizor? C\u00e2nd se stric\u0103 un canal, sap\u0103 altul. \u00cen gar\u0103 un moldovean \u00eentreab\u0103: -C\u00e2t cost\u0103 un bilet la vi\u0219eu? \u2013 20 de lei. \u2013 Dec\u00e2t s\u0103 dau 20 de lei, mai bine fac pe mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Un moldovean parcheaz\u0103 Dacia sa. Vine altul \u015fi \u00eei love\u015fte ma\u015fina. Moldoveanul: \u2013 Vaaai di mini \u015f\u00ee di mini!! \u015ei-ai facut cu d\u0103\u015fioara me\u2019? Cu iasta \u00eemi du\u015fem copiii la \u015fcoala \u015f\u00ee-mi c\u00ee\u015ftigam p\u00e2nea! Da\u2019 di ci \u00eei a me\u2019 str\u00e2cat\u00ee \u015f\u00ee a ta nu?! \u2013 Pai, a mea este Audi! -Audi, audi, da di \u015fi nu vedi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-gz-block=\"d1e77a9c-30e6-42e6-82be-686fa9d35810\"><\/div><br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 M\u0103, Marine, tu \u015ftii ce-i acela un chilot, b\u0103i? -Da\u2019 cum sa nu? \u0102la care chiloteaz\u0103 avioane<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bancuri cu olteni Doi olteni dormeau pe o banc\u0103 dintr-un parc din Bucure\u015fti. La un moment dat se apropie de ei un poli\u0163ist: \u2014 Ce face\u0163i voi aici?? \u2014 P\u0103i\u2026 eu nu am cas\u0103, nu am nici serviciu, a\u015fa c\u0103 dorm aci. \u2014 \u015ei tu? \u2014 La el \u2013 \u00een vizit\u0103.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cum prinde olteanul un iepure? Se ascunde \u00een tufi\u0219 \u0219i face ca morcovul Doi olteni, Ion \u0219i Gheorghe voiau s\u0103 sape o groap\u0103 pentru a s\u0103di un pom. Sap\u0103 oltenii ce s\u0103pa \u0219i la un moment dat Ion \u00eel \u00eentreab\u0103 pe Gheorghe: -B\u0103, Gheorghe, dar noi ce facem cu mormanul asta de p\u0103m\u00e2nt care s-a str\u00e2ns? -B\u0103, Ioane, nici at\u00e2t nu te duce capul. P\u0103i s\u0103pam o alt\u0103 groap\u0103 pe care o umplem cu p\u0103m\u00e2ntul din prima groap\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un oltean, \u00eentr-un taxi, coboar\u0103 o panta, cu mare vitez\u0103. \u015eoferul: \u2013 Suntem pierdu\u0163i! \u2013 De ce? \u2013 Nu mai func\u0163ioneaz\u0103 fr\u00e2nele \u015fi nu am cum s\u0103 opresc. \u2013 Opre\u015fte m\u0103car aparatul de taxat!<br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bancuri cu ardeleni Doi ardeleni se suie \u00eentr-un tren ca s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 acas\u0103. Dup\u0103 vreo or\u0103 de mers, parc\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103 b\u0103nuiasc\u0103 c\u0103 au gre\u0219it trenul. C\u00e2nd vine controlorul, unul din ei \u00ee\u0219i face curaj \u0219i-l \u00eentreab\u0103: \u2013 Domnule, nu te sup\u0103ra, trenul \u0103sta m\u0103 duce la Cluj? Nu. Dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva momente de t\u0103cere, &#8230; <a title=\"Cele mai bune bancuri mioritice\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=581\" aria-label=\"Read more about Cele mai bune bancuri mioritice\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":513,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/581","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=581"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/581\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=581"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=581"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=581"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}