{"id":4427,"date":"2024-12-04T20:56:59","date_gmt":"2024-12-04T20:56:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=4427"},"modified":"2024-12-04T20:57:02","modified_gmt":"2024-12-04T20:57:02","slug":"vine-ion-acasa-de-la-oras","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=4427","title":{"rendered":"Vine Ion acas\u0103 de la ora\u015f"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Vine Ion acas\u0103 de la ora\u015f \u015fi zice c\u0103tre Maria, hot\u0103r\u00e2t:<br>\u2013 Marie, stinge lumina, trage perdelele \u015fi \u00een pat iute.<br>\u2013 M\u0103 Ioane, da mai am de lucru.<br>\u2013 Dac-am zis, am zis!<br>Vede Maria c\u0103 n-are \u00eencotro, se conformeaza. Se pune \u015fi Ion \u00een pat, trage plapuma peste ei \u015fi zice:<br>\u2013 No, acum Marie, s\u0103-\u0163i ar\u0103t ce ceas cu fosfor mi-am cump\u0103rat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un b\u0103rbat merge cu liftul. La un moment dat, intr\u0103 o femeie. Dup\u0103 dou\u0103 etaje, femeia opre\u015fte liftul, se uit\u0103 cochet la el, \u00ee\u015fi dezbrac\u0103 bluza \u015fi sutienul \u015fi le arunc\u0103 pe jos.<br>\u2013 Hai, f\u0103-m\u0103 ca s\u0103 m\u0103 simt ca o femeie.<br>B\u0103rbatul se g\u00eende\u015fte pu\u0163in, \u00ee\u015fi dezbrac\u0103 c\u0103ma\u015fa, o arunc\u0103 pe jos \u015fi spune:<br>\u2013 Hai, spal-o \u015fi calc-o.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ion se duce la popa satului.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Stii parinte, uite , ne-am luat io cu Marie.<strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Ooo, felicitari, zice popa. Pot sa va ajut cu ceva?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Apai stii parinte, io nu prea stiu ce sa fac\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Popa \u00eencurcat se uita afara si-i vine ideea:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Uite Ioane c\u00e2inii aia \u00een drum, faci ce fac si ei!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Se uita Ion si pleaca multumit. Peste c\u00e2teva zile se \u00eentilneste popa cu Ion<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>.- No, Ioane, cum o fost, bine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Bine o fost parinte, zice Ion multumit, mai greu o fost p\u00e2na am scos-o pe Marie \u00een drum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Prin anii 90, pleac\u0103 Ion \u00een America.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>La plecare, Maria \u00eei spune:<br>Ma Ioane, nu vreau cine stie ce, doar sa-mi aduci o pereche de chilotei, ma\u2026<br>\u2013 Bine tu, Marie, ti-aduc, cum sa nu\u2026<br>Pleaca Ion, iese pe poarta, la care Maria striga dupa el:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>\u2013 Ma Ioane, si-o fundita de legat parul, ma!<br>\u2013 Da tu, da!<br>Ajunge Ion in America, cauta un magazin mare, iar la intrare sta scris:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00abCine cauta un lucru si nu il gaseste in magazinul nostru, va fi rasplatit cu o mie de dolari\u00bb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ion merge la raionul de lenjerie intima si cere:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Vreau si eu o pereche de chilotei cu fundita pentru legat parul\u2026<br>Vanzatoarea da fuga la patron:<br>\u2013 Sefule, a venit un roman si mi-a cerut chilotei cu fundita pentru legat parul\u2026 si nu avem!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ce fac, ii dau mia de dolari sau nu?<br>Da-i repede banii si sa plece, ca nebunul asta ne-o cere apoi si izmene cu cofraj pentru oua\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Si nici de alea nu avem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un om la aprozar:<br>\u2013 Cu ce va pot servi?<br>\u2013 Doua kilograme de cartofi, dar fiecare cartof impachetat separat.<br>Dupa o moaca expresiva a vanzatorului:<br>\u2013 Altceva?<br>\u2013 Trei kilograme de portocale, dar fiecare portocala impachetata separat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vanzatorul ii indeplineste dorinta, vizibil nemultumit.<br>Omul se mai uita prin aprozar si, la un moment dat, intreaba:-<br>Ce este ala negru de pe raft?<br>\u2013 Mac, dar nu-i de vanzare!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Vine Ion acas\u0103 de la ora\u015f \u015fi zice c\u0103tre Maria, hot\u0103r\u00e2t:\u2013 Marie, stinge lumina, trage perdelele \u015fi \u00een pat iute.\u2013 M\u0103 Ioane, da mai am de lucru.\u2013 Dac-am zis, am zis!Vede Maria c\u0103 n-are \u00eencotro, se conformeaza. Se pune \u015fi Ion \u00een pat, trage plapuma peste ei \u015fi zice:\u2013 No, acum Marie, s\u0103-\u0163i ar\u0103t ce &#8230; <a title=\"Vine Ion acas\u0103 de la ora\u015f\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=4427\" aria-label=\"Read more about Vine Ion acas\u0103 de la ora\u015f\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4428,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4427","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4427"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4427\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4429,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4427\/revisions\/4429"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4427"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4427"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4427"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}