{"id":2293,"date":"2024-07-18T07:35:27","date_gmt":"2024-07-18T07:35:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celebspectrum.com\/?p=2293"},"modified":"2024-07-18T07:35:27","modified_gmt":"2024-07-18T07:35:27","slug":"unde-esti-iubi-si-de-ce-vorbesti-in-soapta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=2293","title":{"rendered":"Unde e\u0219ti, iubi? \u0218i de ce vorbe\u0219ti \u00een \u0219oapt\u0103?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Unde e\u0219ti, iubi? \u0218i de ce vorbe\u0219ti \u00een \u0219oapt\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunt la vecina \u00een \u0219ifonier. A venit b\u0103rba-su acas\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Stai lini\u0219tit, c\u0103 adoarme repede. Vine de la mine, e rupt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Dar ce i-ai f\u0103cut?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Sarmale. \u021aie ce \u021bi-a f\u0103cut aia?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 O felie de p\u00e2ine cu gem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ie\u0219i acum din \u0219ifonier \u0219i f\u0103-le scandal. S\u0103 nu-mi pleci de acolo nem\u00e2ncat!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***********<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ce faci? De ce nu m\u0103 suni? E\u0219ti bine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Las\u0103-m\u0103, nu m\u0103 distrage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ce dracu faci Viorel? Ai \u00eennebunit de tot. Iar te ui\u021bi la filme poli\u021biste?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Anca, termin\u0103 cu prostiile, eu sunt transpirat tot \u0219i nu \u0219tiu pe care s\u0103-l tai, pe cel ro\u0219u sau pe cel verde \u0219i \u021bie \u00ee\u021bi arde de vorb\u0103 acum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ce faci nebunule? Dezamorsezi o bomb\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Mai r\u0103u, fac o ciorb\u0103 \u0219i nu \u0219tiu ce ardei s\u0103 tai<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O discu\u021bie purtat\u0103 pe WhatsApp \u00eentre e o \u0219oferi\u021b\u0103 \u0219i un mecanic auto a devenit viral\u0103 pe re\u021belele de socializare. Iat\u0103 ce este, de fapt, piesa 710. Discu\u021bia e una fabuloas\u0103. R\u00e2zi cu lacrimi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Femeia a cerut ajutorul mecanicului ei cu privire la piesa \u201e710\u201d, care a c\u0103zut de la ma\u0219in\u0103 \u0219i pe care nu \u0219tie nici cum, nici unde s\u0103 o pun\u0103: \u201eBun\u0103 ziua. Din ma\u0219ina mea a c\u0103zut o pies\u0103 \u0219i nu \u0219tiu cum s\u0103 o pun la loc. Este vorba despre piesa 710\u201d, a scris femeia pe WhatsApp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

B\u0103rbatul nu a \u00een\u021beles la ce pies\u0103 se refer\u0103, a\u0219a c\u0103 i-a cerut o fotografie: \u201cTrimite\u021bi o poz\u0103. \u00cencerc\u0103m s\u0103 v\u0103 ajut\u0103m cumva\u201d. Odat\u0103 ce a primit imaginea, angajatul service-ului auto \u0219i-a dat seama ce era, de fapt, \u201cpiesa 710\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dup\u0103 cum pute\u021bi observa \u201cpiesa 710\u201d este capacul de la ulei \u2013 este desenat at\u00e2t simbolul acestuia, dar e scris\u0103 \u0219i \u00een limba englez\u0103 denumirea: \u201cOIL (n.r.: ulei)\u201d, pe care \u0219oferi\u021ba noastr\u0103 l-a pozat invers. A\u0219a c\u0103, \u00een loc de OIL, a citit 710.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201e- Eu trebuie s\u0103 plec dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u00een Germania \u0219i te rog din suflet s\u0103 o urm\u0103re\u0219ti pe nevast\u0103-mea \u0219i dac\u0103 vezi ceva dubios s\u0103-mi spui.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Bine, vecine, te anun\u021b dac\u0103 v\u0103d ceva dubios.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Vecine, patru seri la r\u00e2nd a venit unul brunet la nevast\u0103-ta \u0219i pleca diminea\u021ba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 P\u0103i bine, b\u0103, \u0219i acum \u00eemi spui?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 P\u0103i ai zis s\u0103-\u021bi spun c\u00e2nd v\u0103d ceva dubios, asear\u0103 n-a mai venit. \u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Parc\u0103 ziceai c\u0103 te \u00eensori cu Maria. Nu v-am mai v\u0103zut \u00eempreun\u0103. S-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat ceva?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Ne-am desp\u0103r\u021bit. Am ag\u0103\u021bat o gagicu\u021b\u0103 \u00een ora\u0219, m-a prins cu ea , \u0219i m-a \u00eentrebat cine e. I-am spus c\u0103 e veri\u0219oara mea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218i?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Era var\u0103-sa!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

-Sarut mana, mam\u0103 soacr\u0103!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Bun\u0103, Eugene. De ce m\u0103 suni, nu sunte\u021bi \u00een Grecia?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Ba da, acum suntem la tavern\u0103 \u0219i \u00een meniu scrie c\u0103 ne dau banii \u00eenapoi dac\u0103 nu ne sim\u021bim bine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218i cu ce te pot ajuta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-P\u0103i zi \u0219i tu ceva din alea da-ale tale s\u0103-mi strici ziua, \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi dau 10% c\u00e2nd ajung acas\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ce mai face b\u0103iatul t\u0103u?
\u2013 Bine, tocmai i-au c\u0103zut 3 dinti.
\u2013 Dar nu are peste 25 de ani?
\u2013 27 si o trotinet\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Intr-una din zile, Bula trebaluia prin bucatarie. O clipa de neatentie la tocat zarzavaturi si s\u00e2ngele incepe sa curga. Ia repede o c\u00e2rp\u0103, infasoara degetul si o taie la dispensar. Intra in dispensar si vede doua usi: \u201cBolnavi\u201d si \u201cAccidentati\u201d. Ca un cetatean disciplinat ce este, Bula intra la \u201cAccidentati\u201d. Acolo, ce sa vezi? Alte doua usi: \u201cCu sangerare\u201d si \u201cFara sangerare\u201d. Asa cum era firesc intra la \u201cCu sangerare\u201d. Alte doua usi: \u201cDe importanta vitala\u201d si \u201cFara importanta vitala\u201d Deschide usa \u201cFara importanta vitala\u201d si se trezeste iar in strada\u2026 Pleaca nervos acasa unde familia il intreaba:
\u2013 Ei, Bula, te-au tratat bine?
\u2013 Nu s-a uitat nici dracu la mine, dar organizarea e la mare meserie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maestre, de ce nu am \u0219i eu succes \u00een via\u021b\u0103?
\u2013 Ai privit apusul soarelui \u00een mun\u021bi?
\u2013 Da, maestre!
\u2013 Ai v\u0103zut zborul lin al vulturilor deasupra piscurilor?
\u2013 Da, maestre!
\u2013 Ai contemplat luna \u00eentr-o noapte senin\u0103?
\u2013 Da, maestre!
\u2013 P\u0103i, vezi, \u00ee\u021bi pierzi timpul cu nimicuri de astea \u00een loc s\u0103 pui osu\u2019 la treab\u0103!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Unde e\u0219ti, iubi? \u0218i de ce vorbe\u0219ti \u00een \u0219oapt\u0103? Sunt la vecina \u00een \u0219ifonier. A venit b\u0103rba-su acas\u0103. \u2013 Stai lini\u0219tit, c\u0103 adoarme repede. Vine de la mine, e rupt. \u2013 Dar ce i-ai f\u0103cut? \u2013 Sarmale. \u021aie ce \u021bi-a f\u0103cut aia? \u2013 O felie de p\u00e2ine cu gem. \u2013 Ie\u0219i acum din \u0219ifonier \u0219i … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2295,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2293\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2295"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}