{"id":1590,"date":"2024-06-17T06:13:18","date_gmt":"2024-06-17T06:13:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celebspectrum.com\/?p=1590"},"modified":"2024-06-17T06:13:18","modified_gmt":"2024-06-17T06:13:18","slug":"el-vine-acasa-beat-mort-dimineata","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=1590","title":{"rendered":"El vine acas\u0103 beat mort diminea\u0163a"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>El vine acas\u0103 beat mort diminea\u0163a.<br>Ea \u00eencepe cu gura pe el:<br>\u2013 C\u00e2\u0163i bani ai cheltuit b\u0103rbate?<br>\u2013 S\u0103 tot fie vreo zece milioane\u2026<br>\u2013 Cu banii \u0103\u015ftia pot tr\u0103i o lun\u0103!<br>\u2013 Normal, tu nu bei, nu fumezi, nu joci la p\u0103c\u0103nele\u2026&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Pleaca pestisorul de aur in vacanta si incredinteaza toate treburile rechinului spunandu-i:<br>\u2013 Treaba e simpla, daca te prinde vreunul ii indeplinesti trei dorinte si gata!<br>Dupa o saptamana se intoarce pestisorul si-l intreaba pe rechin despre cum a fost. Rechinul ii spune ca l-a prins cineva.<br>\u2013 Si ce-ai facut? il intreba pestisorul.<br>\u2013 I-am spus ca-i indeplinesc trei dorinte.<br>\u2013 Si ce-ai mai facut?<br>\u2013 L-am intrebat de prima dorinta!<br>\u2013 Si ce-a spus?<br>\u2013 Mi-a cerut un castel!<br>\u2013 Si ce-ai facut?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 I-am dat un castel.<br>\u2013 A doua dorinta?<br>\u2013 Mi-a cerut femei.<br>\u2013 Si ce-ai facut?<br>\u2013 I-am dat femei.<br>\u2013 A treia?<br>\u2013 Mi-a cerut sa aiba barbatia pana-n pamant.<br>\u2013 Si ce-ai facut?<br>\u2013 I-am mancat picioarele\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un angajat intarzie la servici,seful sau nervos tipa la el:<br>\u2013 Ar fi trebuit sa fii aici la 8:30! Tipul raspunde:<br>\u2013 De ce?Ce s-a intamplat la 8:30?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Un ardelean, \u00eentors recent dintr-o excursie la Londra, \u00eei poveste\u015fte prietenului lui:<br>\u2013 Am cunoscut o englezoaic\u0103, \u015fi cu toate c\u0103 nu \u015ftiu engleza \u015fi nici ea rom\u00e2na, ne-am \u00een\u0163eles de minune.<br>\u2013 I-am desenat o farfurie cu m\u00e2ncare \u015fi direct m-a luat la un restaurant.<br>\u2013 I-am desenat un pahar \u015fi ea m-a luat la un bar \u015fi tot a\u015fa p\u00e2n\u0103 spre diminea\u0163\u0103, c\u00e2nd ea mi-a desenat un pat.<br>\u2013 Oare de unde naiba a \u015ftiut ea c\u0103 sunt t\u00e2mplar ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Am impresia c\u0103 am dep\u0103\u015fit viteza legal\u0103 sau cine \u015ftie ce-o fi f\u0103cut, deoarece v\u0103d c\u0103 ne urm\u0103re\u015fte o patrul\u0103 a poli\u0163iei.<br>\u2013 Sper s\u0103 nu fie ceva grav.<br>\u2013 A, nu-i ce crezi, iubitule! E ma\u015fina condus\u0103 de so\u0163ul meu.<br>\u2013 Am uitat s\u0103-\u0163i spun c\u0103 e agent de poli\u0163ie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/xn--i_a_inut_picioarele_n_ap_cu_oet_ce-ufd47es9hqe1a\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>El vine acas\u0103 beat mort diminea\u0163a.Ea \u00eencepe cu gura pe el:\u2013 C\u00e2\u0163i bani ai cheltuit b\u0103rbate?\u2013 S\u0103 tot fie vreo zece milioane\u2026\u2013 Cu banii \u0103\u015ftia pot tr\u0103i o lun\u0103!\u2013 Normal, tu nu bei, nu fumezi, nu joci la p\u0103c\u0103nele\u2026&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Pleaca pestisorul de aur in vacanta si incredinteaza toate treburile rechinului spunandu-i:\u2013 Treaba e simpla, daca &#8230; <a title=\"El vine acas\u0103 beat mort diminea\u0163a\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=1590\" aria-label=\"Read more about El vine acas\u0103 beat mort diminea\u0163a\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1591,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1590"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1590\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1591"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1590"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1590"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}