{"id":1557,"date":"2024-06-15T21:22:53","date_gmt":"2024-06-15T21:22:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tustiaica.ro\/?p=1557"},"modified":"2024-06-15T21:22:53","modified_gmt":"2024-06-15T21:22:53","slug":"au-muls-ciobanii-oile-stau-la-masa-din-cer-se-aude-un-zgomot-infernal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=1557","title":{"rendered":"Au muls ciobanii oile, stau la masa.Din cer se aude un zgomot infernal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><br>Au muls ciobanii oile, stau la masa. Din cer cu-n zgomot infernal, aterizeaza o nava extraterestra. Iese din ea un exaterestru si se adreseaza ciobenilor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>\u2013 Eu sunt Venus !<br>\u2013 Baciul mai mare zice:<br>\u2013 Ia toarna-i un paharel.<br>\u2013 Bea exaterestrul si iar:<br>\u2013 Eu sunt Venus !<br>\u2013 Mai toarna-i unul !Bea exaterestrul si vesel le zice:<br>\u2013 Vede-ti\u2026, eu sunt de pe alta planeta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Nu-i mai turna, caci s-a imbatat deja, zice baciul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>CITE\u0218TE \u0218I URM\u0102TOARELE BANCURI<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un zg\u00e2rcit sun\u0103 la linia erotica.La cel\u0103lalt cap\u0103t al firului se aude:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>\u2013 ..Iubire, bine ai venit, fac tot ce vrei, cum vrei, c\u00e2nd vrei !!!Zg\u00e2rcitul \u00eentreab\u0103:<br>\u2013 Chiar faci tot ce vreau ?<br>\u2013 Da, iubire tot ce vrei, c\u00e2nd vrei, cum vrei.<br>\u2013 Atunci eu \u00eenchid \u015fi sun\u0103-m\u0103 tu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Mama, ast\u0103zi \u00een autobuz, tata m-a pus s\u0103 cedez locul unei domni\u015foare.<br>\u2013 Foarte bine, a\u015fa trebuie s\u0103 faci!<br>\u2013 Dar, m\u0103mico, eu st\u0103team \u00een bra\u0163ele lui tata\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Doi sultani stau de vorba:<br>\u2013 Auzi, da\u2019 tu cum alegi seara, dintre cele treizeci de concubine ale tale, cu care sa te culci?<br>\u2013 Eh, simplu, arunc peste ele o galeata cu apa rece, si o aleg pe cea din care iese cel mai mult abur!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Intr-o intersectie din Craiova, doi politisti opresc un carutas.<br>\u2013 Ba omule, unde te duci tu cu caruta? Nu stii ca nu ai voie cu ea in oras?<br>\u2013 Ma duc la Politia Circulatiei! Am auzit ca este vacant un post de politist!<br>\u2013 Daaaa? Da\u2019 tu cate clase ai ma?<br>\u2013 Pai, cinci !Atunci politistii ii scot caschetele, si le izbesc de caldaram, zicand cu naduf:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>\u2013 A dracului de treaba! Iar ne vine un sef!<br>\u2013 Si din ce traiesti? Vad ca arati bine.<br>\u2013 De pe urma celor zece porumbei calatori pe care ii am.<br>\u2013 Cum adica? Faci serviciu de posta?<br>\u2013 Nu. Dar reusesc sa-i vand aproape in fiecare zi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cativa prieteni, fotografi amatori, intr-un bar.Zice unul:<br>\u2013 Aseara m-am imbatat crunt, nici nu mai stiu cum am ajuns acasa cu doua tipe superbe. Cum si ele erau ametite, am inceput sa le fac poze \u201cdeocheate\u201d cu noul meu aparat. To\u021bi ceilalti intr-un glas:<br>\u2013 Ti-ai luat aparat? Cati megapixeli are ?<br>Un ardelean intr\u0103 \u00eentr-un bar la New York. Barmanul \u00eei spune c\u0103 \u00een acest bar se bea numai pe pariu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>\u2013 Domnule, eu pun pariu cu tine ca nu po\u021bi s\u0103 bei o sticl\u0103 de whisky \u00een 30 de minute!Ardeleanul \u00eesi cere scuze, iese din bar \u0219i apare peste 10 minute \u00eenapoi, pune banu pe tejghea \u0219i accept\u0103 provocarea. Barman-ul \u00eei da sticla, ardeleanul o termina \u00een 10 minute. Barmanul, stupefiat:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>\u2013 Domnule, dar n-am crezut c\u0103 a\u0219a ceva e posibil! N-am crezut c\u0103 sunte\u021bi \u00een stare s\u0103 faceti a\u0219a ceva! Nimeni nu a mai reu\u0219it!La care ardeleanul:<br>\u2013 Nici io n-am crezut, dar m-am dus la barul de vis-a-vis sa verific!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Au muls ciobanii oile, stau la masa. Din cer cu-n zgomot infernal, aterizeaza o nava extraterestra. Iese din ea un exaterestru si se adreseaza ciobenilor: \u2013 Eu sunt Venus !\u2013 Baciul mai mare zice:\u2013 Ia toarna-i un paharel.\u2013 Bea exaterestrul si iar:\u2013 Eu sunt Venus !\u2013 Mai toarna-i unul !Bea exaterestrul si vesel le zice:\u2013 &#8230; <a title=\"Au muls ciobanii oile, stau la masa.Din cer se aude un zgomot infernal\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=1557\" aria-label=\"Read more about Au muls ciobanii oile, stau la masa.Din cer se aude un zgomot infernal\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1560,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1557"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1557\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1560"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}