{"id":1306,"date":"2024-06-06T10:56:13","date_gmt":"2024-06-06T10:56:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tustiaica.ro\/?p=1306"},"modified":"2024-06-06T10:56:13","modified_gmt":"2024-06-06T10:56:13","slug":"banc-bula-se-duce-la-psihiatru-nevasta-mea-are-o-fixatie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=1306","title":{"rendered":"BANC | BUL\u0102 SE DUCE LA PSIHIATRU: \u201eNEVASTA MEA ARE O FIXA\u021aIE\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Bul\u0103 se duce la psihiatru.\u2013 Domn\u2019 doctor, vin la dumneavoastr\u0103 pentru nevasta mea. Are o fixa\u021bie c\u0103 cineva ar \u00eencerca s\u0103 \u00eei fure hainele.\u2013 \u0218i cum v-a\u021bi dat seama de asta, domnule Bul\u0103? Cum se manifest\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 P\u0103i, lucrurile au ajuns \u00een faza \u00een care \u0219i-a luat paznic pentru haine. L-am g\u0103sit ieri \u00een dulap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bul\u0103 o consoleaz\u0103 pe Alinu\u021ba dup\u0103 ce i-a murit so\u021bulAlinu\u021ba e \u00een doliu, dup\u0103 ce i-a murit so\u021bul. Revine de la cimitir, ajunge acas\u0103 \u0219i pl\u00e2nge \u00een bra\u021bele prietenului cel mai bun al r\u0103posatului, nimeni altul dec\u00e2t Bul\u0103. Acesta o m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie \u00eencet \u0219i \u00eei zice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Ooof, Alinu\u021bo, ce s\u0103-i faci, asta-i via\u021ba.. Acuma, dac\u0103 tot s-a dus Mitic\u0103, hai s-o facem am\u00e2ndoi. A\u0219a, \u00een amintirea lui.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Alte bancuri amuzante<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Bul\u0103 \u00eei poveste\u0219te unui prieten:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Asear\u0103, ies de la McDrive, nu fac o sut\u0103 de metri c\u0103 \u0219i m\u0103 trage pe dreapta un poli\u021bist, \u00eemi bate u\u0219or \u00een geam, \u00eemi d\u0103 o pung\u0103 ciudat\u0103 \u0219i-mi spune:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Vrei s\u0103 fii amabil \u0219i s\u0103 sufli aici?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Pentru ce, domnule poli\u021bist, am dep\u0103\u0219it viteza, mergeam pe dou\u0103 benzi, n-am dat prioritate!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Nu, nu, zice poli\u021bistul, mi-am cump\u0103rat cartofii \u0103\u0219tia \u0219i sunt prea fierbin\u021bi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>O tip\u0103 se decide s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i duc\u0103 so\u021bul \u00eentr-un club de striptease pentru a-i s\u0103rb\u0103tori ziua de na\u0219tere. La intrare, paznicul \u00eei \u00eent\u00e2mpin\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Ooo, domnul Dan! Ce mai faci? Pofti\u021bi, pofti\u021bi! So\u021bia, uimit\u0103 \u00eel \u00eentreab\u0103 dac\u0103 a mai fost acolo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 A, nu. E din echipa mea de bowling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cum se a\u0219az\u0103 la mas\u0103, vine o chelneri\u021b\u0103 \u0219i-i aduce direct un Budweiser. So\u021bia devine foarte agitat\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Cum de \u0219tia ce bere bei?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Tipa face parte din liga de bowling fenimin. Ne \u00eent\u00e2lnim mereu la club cu ele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>O stripteuz\u0103 vine direct la masa lor \u0219i zice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Bun\u0103, D\u0103nu\u021b Vrei dansul obi\u0219nuit?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So\u021bia nervoas\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i smulge geanta \u0219i iese v\u00e2l-v\u00e2rtej afar\u0103. El fuge dup\u0103 ea \u0219i o prinde chiar c\u00e2nd se urc\u0103 \u00een taxi. Chiar \u00eenainte de a tr\u00e2nti u\u0219a, urc\u0103 \u0219i el. Degeaba \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eei explice cum probabil, l-a confundat stripteuza, c\u0103 nevasta nu \u00eel crede \u0219i continu\u0103 s\u0103 vocifereze \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eel fac\u0103 albie de porci.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> El se c\u0103zne\u0219te din r\u0103sputeri s\u0103 o conving\u0103. \u0218oferul taxiului \u00eentoarce capul \u0219i zice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; B\u0103, Dane, dar ce scorpie ai ag\u0103\u021bat \u00een seara asta!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bul\u0103 se duce la psihiatru.\u2013 Domn\u2019 doctor, vin la dumneavoastr\u0103 pentru nevasta mea. Are o fixa\u021bie c\u0103 cineva ar \u00eencerca s\u0103 \u00eei fure hainele.\u2013 \u0218i cum v-a\u021bi dat seama de asta, domnule Bul\u0103? Cum se manifest\u0103? \u2013 P\u0103i, lucrurile au ajuns \u00een faza \u00een care \u0219i-a luat paznic pentru haine. L-am g\u0103sit ieri \u00een dulap. &#8230; <a title=\"BANC | BUL\u0102 SE DUCE LA PSIHIATRU: \u201eNEVASTA MEA ARE O FIXA\u021aIE\u201d\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=1306\" aria-label=\"Read more about BANC | BUL\u0102 SE DUCE LA PSIHIATRU: \u201eNEVASTA MEA ARE O FIXA\u021aIE\u201d\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1307,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1306"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1306\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}