{"id":1019,"date":"2024-05-28T08:12:19","date_gmt":"2024-05-28T08:12:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tustiaica.ro\/?p=1019"},"modified":"2024-05-28T08:12:19","modified_gmt":"2024-05-28T08:12:19","slug":"se-duce-bula-la-doctor-sa-i-dea-o-reteta-pentru-slabit-in-fiecare-dimineata-trebuie-sa-alergi-opt-kilometri-zice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=1019","title":{"rendered":"Se duce Bula la doctor, sa-i dea o reteta pentru slabit.\u2013 In fiecare dimineata trebuie sa alergi opt kilometri, zice"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Se duce Bula la doctor, sa-i dea o reteta pentru slabit.<br>\u2013 In fiecare dimineata trebuie sa alergi opt kilometri, zice doctorul. Peste un an, vino sa evaluam rezultatele.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Trece un an si doctorul primeste un telefon de la Bula:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br>\u2013 Stiti, nu pot sa vin astazi.<br>\u2013 De ce? intreaba doctorul. Ai facut ce ti-am spus?<br>\u2013 Tocmai aici este problema \u2013 sunt la aproapre trei mii de kilometri de casa.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>  CITE\u0218TE \u0218I URMATORUL BANC \u23ec<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Iubire, mergem la sala?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Ma faci grasa?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>-NUU, daca vrei poti sta acasa!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>-Acum ma faci lenesa?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>-Nuuu. Cred ca o sa ma duc singur!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A da? Du-te si ramai cu alea de acolo!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;\u200c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">&nbsp;Doctore, ce m\u0103 fac cu nevast\u0103-mea?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Un tip, care parea destul de necajit, vorbea cu ginecologul sotiei lui:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Doctore, sunt casatorit de cinci ani. In primul an, nevasta-mea a nascut un baiat, a doua oara, a nascut gemeni, iar de curand, tripleti\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ce ma fac daca o tine tot asa?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Aaa, nu va ingrijorati. Mai mult de sase deodata nu se poate!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Cele mai bune glume cu neveste<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Un b\u0103rbat \u00eencerca s\u0103-i demonstreze nevestei c\u0103 femeile vorbesc de dou\u0103 ori mai mult dec\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u0163ii.\u00a0<\/strong>\u00cei arat\u0103 un studiu care indic\u0103 faptul c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163ii folosesc 10.000 de cuvinte pe zi, pe c\u00e2nd femeile, 20.000. Nevast\u0103-sa se g\u00e2nde\u015fte pu\u0163in \u015fi r\u0103spunde:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> \u2013P\u0103i normal c\u0103 folosim un num\u0103r dublu de cuvinte, pentru c\u0103 tot timpul trebuie s\u0103 v\u0103 repet\u0103m ce spunem! \u2013 Poftim?! o \u00eentreab\u0103 b\u0103rbatul\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Nevasta pentru batrane\u0163e&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vorbesc doi mo\u015fi trecu\u0163i de 70 de ani:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Cum nu \u0163i-e ru\u015fine, m\u0103i Ioane, ai tr\u0103it 50 de ani cu femeia ta \u015fi acum la b\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u0163e na, \u0163i-ai luat una t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 de 20!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Ce-n\u0163elegi tu Gheorghe, de o so\u0163ie b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 ai grij\u0103 \u2013 ba o doare capul, ba d\u0103-i pastilele de inim\u0103, ba trebuie s\u0103 o duci la baie, nu ai somn!\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Pe strad\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2lnesc \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor Bul\u0103 \u015fi Alinu\u0163a, fo\u015fti colegi de liceu cu dou\u0103zeci de ani \u00een urm\u0103<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2013 Ce \u00eent\u00e2lnire nea\u015fteptat\u0103, Bul\u0103! Ce-a trecut timpul! Ce faci, pe unde e\u015fti?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2013 Ei, nu fac mare lucru, dar tu? V\u0103d c\u0103 tot frumoas\u0103 ai r\u0103mas, Alinu\u0163o! M\u0103ritat\u0103, copii?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2013 Nu, nici una, nici alta. \u015etii, nu vrei s\u0103 intr\u0103m pu\u0163in uite acolo, peste drum, la o cafelu\u0163\u0103, acolo lucrez.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1622303\"> \n <\/div> \n <script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\"); \n <\/script><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>P\u0103i acolo din c\u00e2te \u015ftiu eu e bordel, Alinu\u0163o.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2013 P\u0103i da. \u015ei ce-i r\u0103u \u00een asta? Dac\u0103 altceva nu \u015ftiu s\u0103 fac? Clien\u0163i sunt, bani sunt, merge treaba. Hai s\u0103 intr\u0103m. Hai c\u0103-\u0163i fac un 82 pe gratis \u00een amintirea vremurilor de alt\u0103dat\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2013 Ce naiba-i aia un 82!?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Se duce Bula la doctor, sa-i dea o reteta pentru slabit.\u2013 In fiecare dimineata trebuie sa alergi opt kilometri, zice doctorul. Peste un an, vino sa evaluam rezultatele. Trece un an si doctorul primeste un telefon de la Bula: \u2013 Stiti, nu pot sa vin astazi.\u2013 De ce? intreaba doctorul. Ai facut ce ti-am spus?\u2013 &#8230; <a title=\"Se duce Bula la doctor, sa-i dea o reteta pentru slabit.\u2013 In fiecare dimineata trebuie sa alergi opt kilometri, zice\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/?p=1019\" aria-label=\"Read more about Se duce Bula la doctor, sa-i dea o reteta pentru slabit.\u2013 In fiecare dimineata trebuie sa alergi opt kilometri, zice\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1020,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1019"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maxibancuri.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}